Not that easy this time...

I will not be so easy to catch thistime around. Sorry I love you won't be enough anymore. It's going to be harder then those sweet words you've always used before.

Boy you made me hard to get. For you and every other boy in this world. I will not willing fall into your arms again, I've learned. My heart has become cold. It will not be so easy now to win me. To make me smile full of love towards you or any boy.

so chase me to your heart's content, prepare for a long hard run. I will run away to the end of the earth before I will fall. I will be the hardest to chase, the hardest to win.

I know I promised not to run away, but I will run. I will taunt you from a far as you try to catch up. I will not fall.

And if I should be so weak and fall for you, then maybe just maybe I'll stay around. Maybe I wil settle myself in your arms forever, but boys you will have to work for it. I will not be easily won. Sweet words won't work. You want me, show me, prove it to me. You will have to work hard to wn this girl, I am my own person. I am indepent, I am me. And I'm someone worth fighting for!

So good luck, and as cheesy as it sounds....Let the race begin!
Rose

Why? Why does it have to be so diffucult???

As I'm annoyed, and upset I'm going to vent myself on here and hopefully the poor readers won't shot me for it.
But honestly isn't enough enough??? Why do people never understand the word "no"? It's not a word I use very often, but honestly when I use it I mean it.
When I say it's over, when I say no, that's it, that's the last word on the matter! So stop telling me you're sorry, stop telling me it's all your fault cause honestly I don't want to hear it! I know what happened I was there! I felt it, I was the one who dealt with all the pain, so shush it!
I don't do or say things to hurt people, that's the last thing on my mind, but I always try to tell it to people straight, so there's no misunderstanding I've got to clear up down the road. Is that so hard to understand??? What part of NO MORE do you not get????? Stop moping to me, stop complaining! It was your choice, I went along with YOUR decision! I'm tired of being the perfectly loyal puppy that comes crawling back every time you call my name, no matter how many times you yell at me before! I am strong! I am me! I will not change!
Stop thinking about the past and move on! It can't be changed, everything happens for a reason, so go find your reason! The past is but memories of a happy time now, it's stepping stones for the future. So don't mope at me and Do Not If You Value Your Life Yell At Me! It's annoying......

Just please stop trying to bring up the past, I know it's there, they're fond memories, but it's painful to remember right now. It's too soon to look back and smile, to laugh about the stupid things we did. It just brings back the pain and the tears. I've cried more in the last year then any of my other 18 years of life. I don't want to cry anymore. I want to smile again, and mean it. I want to laugh again like I used to. You're in my life, but at the same time you aren't. I've gone back to the way my life would have been if I had never met you, and it's going to stay that way....

It's too late to say you're sorry now, too late to mean it. The happiness is gone, so stop giving me grief......

Rose

Random Rambling

Well, three months until college begins and I'm already making new friends! Courtesy of facebook's MSUM class of 2015 group chat, it's nicebecause I'll already know some people when I go up there, and we're already making plans to get together on move-in day! It seems like it's going to take forever for the 16th of Augest to come, but I know that it will come all too soon, and I'll have to face college life. I'm excited but still alittle scared.

I finally let go of my ex boyfriend, it took a long time, and though I haven'tnot gotten back together with him since we broke up it still took me this long to finally let go. I can talk to him without it hurting or wondering if he misses me, stuff like that.  I guess it took another guy asking me out for me to see that I would live without him and I didn't have to be alone just because things didn't work out with him.

I don't think I'm 100% ready for another relationship but it was nice to hear that other guys notice me too, even if he did ask me out after only knowing me for a few days. There's lots of thoughts going around in my head, honestly I still kinda wish my old friend wasn't becoming a priest, things have gotten abit tense between us. I'm not sure if it's because he knows that I can about him more then a friend, ori he's just busy I'm not sure, but I hope it clears up and things go back to the way they were.

So quick update summary, Let go of old boyfriend, got asked out by a college classmate, and kinda hung up on old friend. Confusing? YES! Love is a fickle thing, but as I was told once love is a decison not a feeling. You choose who you want to love, no one and nothing makes you love that person. So it's a comfort to kno that, and I don't have to decide who I want now. I may not have evn met him yet, but the perfect one is out there still just waiting for me like I'm waiting for him.

Till next time!
Rose