endless wondering....

i can honestly say that I don't even know why I'm thinking about this at all. I mean it's all said and done right? So then why is this constantly on my mind?

I trust my friends, especially him. He's never given me a reason not to. I've known him since we were eight, that's over half my life! (that made me feel old) so why, when he tells me that his calling is religious life that I really REALLY wish he was just saying that for another reason unknown to my simple mind?

I cried when he told me. Why?? I mean I almost never cry, but I cried and hard!! Am I missing something here? Am I really simply that clueless???

And whenever I ask if he has told his family yet, he keeps telling me no, that he hasn't found the right time. I mean I don't really know what his family life is like, so who knows maybe there hasn't been a good time for him to talk about it, but still I think you would tell your family before you would tell a gal friend? Isn't that the way it normally goes?? I'm just really confused and somewhat.... nervous? Again not sure why??

I really think I'm missing part of the puzzle here, -sigh- The somewhat annoying part is the fact that I just can't get this out of my mind! Everyday I sit and wonder about this. I rarely talk to him lately, even when I saw him today he seems alittle distant. Agh...I need to find a way to take my mind off this!

My verdict on this matter: either I worry about stupid things WAY too much, or I really need another hobby...or a job, yea a job would be nice....

Well I shall go read my book, and try not to ponder these events.
Rose